Be a friend to your body: better body image every day

Body image often comes up in half-joking conversations with female friends, but those jokes can sometimes get under your skin. When someone close to you asks for the third time whether she looks fat in a dress, she needs calm support, not a harsh verdict.

The original idea comes from Muscle & Fitness Hers: the company a woman keeps influences how she sees her body shape. A good friend doesn’t have to be a psychologist. Simply avoiding adding to her insecurities is enough.

How your body and your social circle are connected

We don’t view our bodies in a vacuum. We compare ourselves with others, listen to comments, notice glances and carry seemingly casual remarks with us. In the original article, Christy Greenleaf, PhD, an assistant professor of kinesiology in health promotion and recovery at the University of North Texas in Denton, pointed out that other people’s observations about a woman’s appearance can influence how she feels about her own body.

It’s fairly simple. If the conversation around you constantly revolves around stomachs, thighs and “allowed” foods, your body shape starts to feel like a project that is never finished. When friends talk about strength, energy and how they feel, the atmosphere changes. Your relationship with your body is still part of the conversation, but it is no longer the only yardstick.

Honestly, this is familiar to many of us. One unkind comment in a fitting room can ruin an entire day. One supportive sentence can ease the tension just as quickly.

How to be more realistic about your body

Julie Miller Jones, PhD, a consumer and nutrition scientist who holds a chair in family science at the College of St. Catherine in St. Paul, Minnesota, suggested looking at fashion magazines and comparing the bodies you see there with those of the real women around you. The point is not to put anyone down. It is to recognize that magazine images are not the norm.

Look at your family, friends, colleagues and neighbors. People vary in height, shape, age and posture. Real life is not a collection of uniform photographs. Keeping that in mind can help you take a kinder view of your own body, too.

The same applies when you work out. A room with mirrors can help one person see their technique clearly while leaving another feeling that every movement is being judged. Greenleaf noted that women’s perceptions of their body shape can change depending on the situation. For some women, a mirrored gym can even feel more challenging when starting a training program.

So what helps? Notice when your friend becomes hard on herself. While trying on clothes. At a celebration meal. After a workout. Don’t make a big scene, but be there for her. Sometimes a simple sentence is enough: “You don’t have to pick yourself apart as though you’re working through a checklist.”

Replace criticism with more specific language

“I really need to lose weight” is something many women say automatically. Greenleaf suggested replacing these thoughts with more supportive ones, such as “I am strong.” It doesn’t have to sound like a slogan. Being specific is even better: “My legs carried me up the stairs today,” or “I made it through the whole workout.”

Food, movement and your body in everyday life

Conversations about food can easily become black and white. One food is “good,” another is “forbidden.” Jones recommended building a more positive relationship with food and avoiding calling foods forbidden. Her point was simple: talk instead about foods you eat often and foods you eat rarely.

This takes away the guilt. Salad doesn’t make you a better person, and cake doesn’t make you weak. What matters is your overall pattern, not one bite. If your friend is eating dessert, there’s no need to say, “You’ll be doing more exercise tomorrow, then.” That kind of joke doesn’t help.

Movement is another major topic. Physical activity can improve how you perceive your body shape because the focus shifts from appearance to ability. Body image involves more than what you see. Your body walks, lifts, stretches, recovers and learns. Jones put it plainly in the original article: people who are on a diet feel better when they do exercises.

This calls for care. Don’t pressure your friend to work out so that she becomes “better.” Invite her to go for a walk, try a workout or simply move more because it may help her feel better. There’s a big difference.

Practical habits for being a friend to your body

• Don’t comment on every weight change, even if you mean it as a compliment.
• If someone criticizes her body shape, don’t argue forcefully with her. Instead, ask what prompted that feeling.
• When trying on clothes, focus on comfort, cut and how you feel, rather than just size.
• Talk about food neutrally. “Something you eat rarely” is better than “sinful.”
• Praise abilities and actions: consistency, strength, courage and recovery.
• If a mirrored gym makes your friend nervous, choose a quieter corner or a different kind of workout.
• When talking about aging, don’t turn it into a list of losses. Forty can also be an age of greater confidence.

Greenleaf noted that as people age, their sense of self-worth may become more closely tied to personal achievements than physical appearance. That is a positive direction. A birthday doesn’t have to be a reminder of what your body can no longer do. It can mark what you have lived through and learned.

Set an example yourself, too. Eat sensibly, stay active, rest and nurture a healthy body image. Not to impress anyone, but to make your body a place where you can live at ease.

FAQ: your body and feeling better

How should you respond when a friend asks if she looks fat?

Don’t rush to judge her body. Instead, take a broader view: how her clothes fit, whether she feels comfortable and what she likes about them. Ask why she’s feeling insecure right now, too.

Does positive body talk mean you can’t talk about appearance?

No. It’s fine to talk about appearance, as long as you don’t make it the sole measure of someone’s worth. It’s better to connect the conversation to how you feel, comfort and strength.

What should you do if working out makes you feel insecure about your body?

Choose an environment where it’s easier to get started. For some, that means a smaller group; for others, training at home or a gym without mirrors. The key is to find a way to move that doesn’t leave you constantly scrutinizing yourself.

Author: No Kia

Source: WHO – physical activity.

Come work out! ArtGym